Sunday, December 2, 2012

Denial or Hedging my bets?

I bought some fabric this weekend.  Mind you, I have tons of fabric....but I got a little more to work on a traditional quilt for my niece Beth.  Sometimes I wonder if I am a little silly....after all, I didn't really PROMISE her a quilt.  This summer when I visited her in Deer Lodge, I said "about your quilt" meaning the top I made for people to sign at their wedding last October.  She about pinged off the wall "A QUILT! You're making us a QUILT?"  Ooops.... it seems that she and her new hubby are short on bedding...and she is a sweet thing....and I adore both of my nieces.  But I wonder, should I really be spending the time to make her a quilt? Should I spend the time I have to make a quilted wall hanging from fabric my friend Stephanie bought to make her son but died before she could accomplish it?

I mean really, how much time do I have left?

And then I think back...yes, I have been battling this recurrence for far too long this time and I haven't been able to push it back yet.  But...if I stopped doing things when I was diagnosed with stage IV cancer, then I would have wasted a lot of time.  After all, I was living with no evidence of disease from late 1998 until 2010.  Just think...if I kept on living then thinking I would be dead soon....and not taking on projects and tasks...then, well, I would have missed out on a whole lot.

So....I keep forging ahead, knowing that perhaps I won't be able to pull out of this one this time.....but knowing that I will not let it stop me until I can no longer go on.

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