Wednesday, August 26, 2009


Tonight, as I was making dinner, I was listening/watching the NBC tribute to Teddy Kennedy. I thought back to riding my bike out to Chappaquidick and wondering how one could forget that this man was on this desolate bit of road with a campaign worker...and...well, you know the story.

However, Teddy seemed to have turned a leaf. He certainly seemed to have been able to do a lot of positive things for someone who would probably best be described as a rogue...

Anyway, what I was thinking as I chopped up yet another zucchini was that the networks had had time to put together things on his life and get interviews with people to show what a complex person he was.

I also thought back to a friend who died of Cancer about 5 years ago. She had only been diagnosed for a short amount of time. She wasn't terribly ill when she was diagnosed, and she was also in her 80s. She put together her own funeral. She spoke with the minister about what she wanted to be said, what rite she wanted (she was Episcopalian), and most importantly to her, what music would be used.

Music was incredibly important to Dottie. She sang alto in the choir with me and still had a good voice despite her age. Her children and grandchildren were also musical. Her service was long, but it was beautiful, and I'm sure she, and everyone who was there, enjoyed it.

Regardless of whether we have cancer or not, we should write down what we want to have done/said at our funerals. That's one gift we can make for the bereaved we leave behind.....the fewer decisions they have to make, the better. Copies of instructions should be left with several people so that they can easily be located.

I know that my daughter knows I want to be dealt with as cheaply as possible and to have a party for all my friends in celebration of my life afterward.

I hope that they know who to contact (my quilting friends) to disperse my collection of fabric, etc. I shudder when I think of that task....

While I suppose some would consider setting out what I want to have done in the way of funerals, burial place, etc. is maudlin, I think it would actually be the best gift in the circumstances that I could give to my loved ones....the ability to know that it was being done the way I would have wanted it with no argument, and for the least amount of decision making necessary for the people I have left behind.

Something to think about. Besides, I can then lie all I want in my obituary. :)


  1. Your writing is so beautiful and so inspirational. I think it is a wonderful idea to plan for our passing from this world ahead of time so that we don't end up with things done that we would be horrified to have if we were still there. Your friend who planned her own funeral is such a guiding light for all of us. Thank you so much for sharing this. Peace and many blessings, Annie

  2. My pleasure! I'm happy to have you along for the ride.