Last week, a friend of mine told me that she had lung cancer and was waiting to find out what type.
Since then, other mutual friends have talked to me. Their first question was "Did she smoke?" or..."I heard she was a smoker."
Does it really matter? I think that this is one of those reactions that people have which on a subconscious level is trying to assign a "reason" for cancer, and that by doing so if they haven't participated in that particular activity, then that removes them a step from having cancer themselves.
Having said that, I will also say that several of the people who have asked that were cancer survivors themselves.
My point is that it doesn't really matter if they smoked or not...or did anything else which might have contributed to their getting cancer. They still have to go through the whole range of emotions and difficulty that a cancer diagnosis brings. They still face treatment and recovery.
We need to get over that having disease is some divine retribution or result of what we do. Cancer happens. We are side swiped by this evil disease and it is devastating. It marks us and our families forever.
Instead, we must offer love and support. It doesn't really matter in the long run.