Coming unhinged

Earlier this week, I got an email from someone who had just been diagnosed with metastatic Breast cancer.  She was asking me what I did, how I handled it.  

I think I have actually posted on this before, but it is worth repeating here.  Although I responded to her about finding out about MBC, it could just as easily be something else...or even the stress and anxiety we feel when we get ready for a scan.  Here's what I told her:

Take a deep breath.  I cried.  a lot.  I had a 4 year old daughter for heaven sakes.  I was terrified....then I decided that most people who got this news were probably not as healthy as I was , and most were not as young.....and if I were a betting person, I would bet on me.  10% survived, and that was an average, so I decided I would do what I had to and that I would beat it.  

Be with friends,  pray of you are a praying sort, and do what you can to help your body defeat it....get sleep, eat well and exercise as you are able.   Get with a support group and certainly keep on calling out to your other stage 4 peeps.....we know what it is like....most people don't.  

Remember, this is a process, and you will work through it.  Let yourself grieve.  Let yourself get 

angry....and take care of yourself.

That is the best I can offer.  It does get easier, and sometime you are doing well and then the feelings and fear smack you....but, take one day at a time, don't look down the road as all you will be doing is making a fantasy of fear ( unless of course, you are seeing yourself as very healthy, but stay away from the accepted prognosis), and doing what my mom always called borrowing trouble.  

I still stand by this advice.....We do go through this as a process....we grow, even in the face of death.  We come to new realizations and understandings.  We have an unwelcome companion by our side, but it is possible to learn to walk with him and accept, maybe begrudgingly, that he is there.  Sometimes it can even produce some interesting conversations.