Monday, April 20, 2009
No Black Allowed
Recently, I had to go to a funeral. My god-mother had died from heart issues at 80 years of age. She had had many blows in her life, but she was always loving and strong.
All of my usual funeral clothes were ...too tight. I usually wear bright, clear colors, peaches, turquoises, purples, red. None of this seemed quite appropriate for a funeral in the midwest amongst people who wouldn't remember me or barely knew me.
All of this brought back some memories of when I was first diagnosed with cancer. I had only been married for three years. I was in Connecticut, which never felt quite comfortable. The thought that I might die and be buried among people I had only had short association with in a part of the country which I didn't love as much as my native Michigan, left me cold. I soon found that that worry wasn't a big one.....my husband's family is Cuban and at least among his family, preparing for death isn't common. In my family, when the first person dies, a whole plot is purchased. So.....since no plot was purchased, I could be buried where ever I wanted, and if I was lucky, there were still spots available in the Broberg lot in Athens, MI or in Augusta, MI.
As it turned out...I needn't have worried. It did bring to mind, however, how much easier it would be if we all made it clear what we wanted to have done at our funeral before times. Cheap casket, or cremation please, whichever is cheaper...and have a BIG party instead.
I am still amused at how your mind tends to flit to such things. But, here I was. Kohls is the only place in town to get clothing, and I didn't have enough time to go elsewhere. As I have mentioned before, I don't wear black. Most of the clothes in Kohls were black, or looked somewhat like Omar the tent maker had designed them, or they were for svelt young things which when put on my body looked like a psycopath's idea of camoflaging a female tank...or that I was pregnant....or all of the above.
I was snarling in the aisles. My daughter was with me....and said "Why do you have to wear dark colors anyway?" I explained that usually somber colors were in order as a token of respect, but that it was pretty outmoded these days anyway. I didn't much care for the concept because I felt that funerals should be a celebration of life, and I wanted it to be a big party.
She said, "I'll make a note of it. On your funeral notices will be the line : No Black allowed."